The Biggest Secret of Community

This month marks a momentous occasion, I published my first book, “The Mentalist 9 Steps to Influence” via Amazon and it was not just a little success but it was a major one! As most of you know, within the first 48 hours after it was published – it became the number #1 bestselling book in it's category of ‘Personality', and number #3 in the category of ‘Motivational'.

Writing this book was my dream come true, and because of this I feel the need to speak about the significance of not just having a dream but how to use the community you already have to make it come true!

You see, this book would never make it to the first place unless I had you. Yes, you! The one reading these lines right now! You, and you and you! Everybody in my community of Mentalizers out there is a part of my success and I owe this milestone to you.

How can I pay back my community, I asked myself. And the answer was pure and simple: write a post that will open their eyes and make them understand the biggest secret of being a part of a community. Although, being a part of a community is probably not enough. We must make moves in order to make the community make moves for us!

A phenomenal line I once heard and still echoes in my mind is this: “Ignite your friends with the spark of YOUR dream, and THEY will make it come true”. Now, I'm not sure who said it and how it was written originally (for which I apologize, but if you know please share the origin with us!), but the message is loud and clear! Alone we are nothing, together we are power!

Everyone has a dream. Whether it is one that you lay in bed at night fantasizing about and keep to yourself or one that you are actively pursuing during your waking hours. One of the most beautiful parts of being human is our ability to dream, to aspire to more, to grow from what and where we are today into a greater vision of our self and our life. Wouldn’t you agree?

What people often seem to forget and perhaps why they run headlong into some difficulties or the inability to make their dream a reality is that a dream is not a solitary activity. A dream requires not just you, the dreamer, but also the help and assistance of the community and resources around you to make it come true. In the words of the civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. , “Teamwork makes the dream work.”

This is not just a catchy phrase, but also a fact.

Do me a favor…

Look at your fingers, on their own they are basically only able to poke and scratch things. But when you use all your fingers together they can create a powerful fist to punch something, or to paint a breathtaking painting, or hit a home run that wins the World Series of Baseball.

This hand of yours can hurt someone, or caress them and make them feel good. It can crush, and can build. Can wave for “Good Bye”, or wave “Hello”!

We are so lucky to have our hand with us at all times. To remind us. To make us never forget the importance of ‘Synergy‘. Synergy is when 1+1 doesn't equal 2, but equals 3 or more! It's when a few people together are worth much more than what they could have done by themselves alone. And you helped me realize it.

I am of the belief that we as humans are essentially good and well intended. (Of course, I am not discounting a few bad apples out there, Hitler, Stalin, Mao Zedong…just to name a notable few) By this I mean that we like to see those around us happy and thriving. When one of us succeeds, and we have had a hand in their success, we too feel we have succeeded. It is the human way. We empathize when a friend or a loved one is on a quest for something. We watch them struggle to achieve it and we celebrate with them in their victory.

I remember having a friend who had been trying to get pregnant unsuccessfully with her husband for a handful of years. Because it was a very personal subject, she kept their sadness and dream just between them. She was a wonderful girl who I had grown up with and her dream had always been to be a Mother. As kids, she would tell all the other kids how many children she wanted and what she would name them when she did.

However, in her late teens she was tragically diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma a.k.a., the Big “C”, Cancer, and thus she had to have all her eggs frozen to preserve her fertility because Chemo damages a woman’s eggs. Years later my friend fell in love with a man who was quite a bit older so he had his own fertility issues. She began to share her story with me as well as others of our friends. Knowing her struggle and also knowing her dream, our community flew into action. It was truly a sight to behold.

Our community of friends and family decided to throw an informal fertility party where the guests each donated money towards their expensive In Vitro fertility treatments. Finally years after trying to get pregnant, my friend was pregnant with her first child because we, her community, had rallied behind her to make it come true.

It is truly amazing the impact of simply speaking your dream aloud and allowing the resources of your community to bring you the opportunities needed for making it manifest.

So let's share it!

Whatever your dream is, it is important that you share it with your friends and loved ones. I cannot tell you how many times this has benefited me in the process of writing and publishing my best selling book as well as other important dreams that I’ve watched come true in my own life.

A few hours ago I posted a status on my Facebook wall: “When was the last time your heard one of my songs?” After writing it, I thought nothing of the posting and went back to my daily life and to write this week's blog post. But within minutes people from my Facebook friend community were reaching out to me with their comments and enthusiasm. I love creating, and I put so much time and effort into my Mentalizing world of writing lessons, blog posts, books(!), shooting my videos for you guys and I didn't have much time to my other passion of writing and recording my songs.

But something made me post that status. And believe it or not, I just received a phone call from the casting director of ‘The Voice' TV show in Israel and she told me that someone sent her a link to my song and she wants me to come to an audition! Can you imagine how surprised I was?

It was amazing how this simple act of speaking my passion aloud and sharing it with my community created a domino effect of opportunity.

It’s important not to do this just once, but daily. Share your dreams with those around you and see what comes your way. I think you’ll be as amazed as I was when I discovered this secret.

What is stopping you from sharing your dream with your community? Is it too personal, too private, too big or outlandish?

I would venture to say that most of the biggest and most mind-blowing things that were ever achieved were achieved by people who refused to let their own self- criticism and fear of vulnerability stand in the way of their dream. Keep in mind you are your ONLY limitation, but you are also your best solution.

For example, I have a friend who from the time I met him in our early 20’s would talk to anyone and everyone about how he was going to one day be a movie star and be in the movies. Everyone used to roll their eyes at him because he would talk about it so often. Most people thought he was delusional to believe something so great was intended for him. A movie star????? Really?????

But eventually all his talking talked him right into a life changing meeting with one of the biggest film producer’s in Hollywood, shortly thereafter he wound up booking a role in you guessed it, his fist big movie!

I know that where you are today with your dream may not seem like much. You may feel like it is so far away, but I am living proof that you can start from literally nothing – just an idea- and within no time be on the road to making that dream real!

Speak up, reach out to those you know, reach out to those you’d like to know, and allow your community to help you build your dream! Anything is possible!

I am still shocked from the phone call I received, and I'm definitely not sure whether I should go on this audition for a live singing contest… You know – I'm not a singer, just someone with a big passion to create… So I decided to ask you, my community, what do YOU think I should do? Comment bellow: