Everyone wants to be liked!
It feels so good when people love you. Most people believe that attraction happens ‘naturally’ and ‘behind the scenes’. But is that just so? Well, the good news is that you can actually leverage some easy, everyday hacks to make others like you. Below I described some psychology backed strategies to get some more love and attention from the people around you.
- Everyone Read a Book – it’s a priced old adage that everyone has at least one good book in them. Maybe you could create some connection by asking about it. People love to talk about themselves, and neuroscience has discovered that self-disclosure creates pleasure points in the brain, just like the thought of money and good food! The point here is that you want people to tell you that story that’s so embedded in them that it elicits pleasure. Once people feel rewarded, they will feel very inclined to like you.
- Ask Questions – this is another timeless tip that works all the time. If you personally have nothing to say, a great way to express interest is to get someone talking about themselves. People love it when you express interest in them this way, and this hack works on the same principles as the one described above.
- Mirroring – in other words, this says ‘copy them’. The point here is to mimic (in a non-exaggerated way) the other person’s behavior. So the next time you’re talking to someone, you want to try and copy their facial expressions, gestures, vocal tones, and even the choice of words. If you see them smiling, try to do it along. If they tend to talk with their hands, you want to mirror the same. However, be careful not to overdo this. Have it in mind that if you make it obvious, it could turn people off!
- Spend More Time – MIT psychologists conducted a research that revealed the ‘mere exposure effect’. Generally, this means that people tend to like things that they are familiar with. That’s why people who live closer together often tend to be closer friends. That’s because the passive, daily interactions lead to more intimate feelings. Even if you aren’t neighbors with your friends, you could try to catch a steady routine together. How about going for coffee at the same time every week? Or attending class together?
- Be in a Great Mood – it’s called emotional contagion – people are highly influenced by others moods. People subconsciously feel the emotions of others around them. So if you happen to be the fun and happy person in the room, you will make everyone else feel great. Also have in mind that negative moods happen to be more contagious than positive ones!
- Provide Social Support – wait a minute, this doesn’t mean that you should give some charity to every other person you meet! It just means that you should show people that you’re there for them. People who think about their close friends when going through difficult tasks always find these tasks to be easier.
- Reveal your Flaws – it’s called the pratfall effect. If people believe that you’re usually a very competent person, they tend to like you more upon making a mistake. The revelation that you are not perfect paints you as a more vulnerable and relatable person to those around you.
As you can see, these are typically easy hacks that you can employ anytime starting now. It’s important to note that most of the things people consider to be ‘out of reach’ can be achieved through increasing your knowledge. So if you always wanted to improve how people perceive you, this could be your starting point!