2014 new year's resolution OR how to be a better Mentalist this year?
New Year's Eve has always been a time for looking back to the past, and more importantly, forward to the coming year. It's a time to reflect on all these changes we are so eager to make and resolve to follow through on those changes. I don't need to use my Mentalist abilities to know that most of my subscribers didn't even know that they wanted to be Mentalists back in 2012! Just looking at the influx of new subscribers during 2013 proves it! We are a community of over 10,000 mentalizers world wide, how exciting!
But as Mentalists we must follow some important rules and develop certain abilities that other normal people don't have. And this is why I decided to write this article that will shed some light on the hidden things we must perfect throughout the new year. I will go over seven of the keys that – I believe – make a Mentalist better in his endeavors! I will highlight the main things but worry not – if you want to learn more and become better mentalists in the year 2012 – grab a copy of my 2 recent published books (“9 Steps to Influence” and “Secrets of the Voice”) for a ridiculous price of only $3 bucks each instead of $18 dollars! Click here for the special offer information.
So what are the 7 major things we must perfect this year in order to master the basic steps to reading people and analyzing them?
the seven powerful mentalism techniques I am about to outline here are easy to put into practice, and I really hope to see all my fans and friends practice them to perfectness!
[icon image=”smile_grin” align=”left”] 1. Don't worry be happy
Smile and the world smiles with you!
A smile says a lot about you: that you are positive, approachable, and likeable. Why are these qualities important for a mentalist?
Just ask yourself: would YOU want to have anything to do with a mentalist who is morose-looking? Such a person sends out a non-verbal message that shouts: “STAY AWAY FROM ME!”
A lack of smile could be fine for people who have no contact with the public or whose work doesn’t depend on an affable attitude. But if a mentalist chooses to sulk, he might as well shoot himself in the foot, or find another profession that doesn’t require people to open up to him.
As I mentioned these seven powerful mentalism techniques are extremely easy to put into practice; Smiling is, hands down, the simplest and most “achievable” of them all! That is why it is Number One in our list!
[icon image=”audio” align=”left”] 2. Put on your special ears
In a recent episode of the TV show “The Mentalist,” Patrick Jane (played by Simon Baker), is asked by someone who is amazed by his abilities: “Are you a psychic?” Patrick replies: “No, but I know how to listen!”
Just like smiling, the ability to listen has numerous benefits for a mentalist. As a matter of fact, I can tell you that if you don’t have that skill, or don’t want to develop it, you probably should forget about being a mentalist. Why? Because listening is actually paying attention. By listening you are showing genuine interest, openness and curiosity in what other people tell you.
First of all, as a mentalist, you want people to trust you and find you likeable. If you project an “I couldn’t care less about you” attitude, there is no way people will gravitate towards you.
People find listeners to be pleasant and trustworthy(!), so they will probably want to be in your company. Not only that, but since they perceive you as someone who is interested in them and open to their ideas, they will tell you things about them that would provide good information for a cold reading. As my subscriber, you will receive one of my favorite lessons about listening in the next few weeks. It will give you some wonderful tips to help you master listening into a whole new field of expertise!
[icon image=”search” align=”left”] 3. Hocus FOCUS
“You see, but do not observe. The distinction is clear.” -Sherlock Holmes
Focus: The power of observation – focusing and paying attention to even the most mundane details – is indeed very important!
In fact, being able to observe well, take in what you see, and then analyze it, is an essential quality for lots of people, not just detectives. Scientists, artists, and yes – mentalists! –rely on this ability in their work lives. As Sherlock famously said to his sidekick: “Elementary, my dear Watson!”
This ability to concentrate, focus, and draw conclusions from what you observe really is elementary for a mentalist. I can just “hear” you thinking (in a manner of speaking, of course; I can’t actually read your mind from where I am sitting): “My thoughts are all over the place, I am distracted, how in the world am I going to focus and observe like a mentalist should?
Don’t get discouraged – like other methods I'm teaching, you can develop this particular skill as well. This is not a “secret” open only to a selected few. It is accessible to anyone willing to learn and of course we will discuss it more thoroughly throughout the new year!
[icon image=”award” align=”left”] 4. Deep breath of confidence
You might be wondering: “Why on earth is confidence an important quality for a mentalist?”
Being confident of your abilities and powers is an essential tool for a mentalist – not to mention for anyone who wants to be successful in life.
Think of all the successful people who accomplished a great deal, people like Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, or other high-achievers you know. Do you think any of them would be where they are today if they lacked confidence in what they are doing and how they are doing it?
I do not think so – and I say that…with total confidence!
Mentalism is all about communication (both verbal and non-verbal) as well as building other people’s trust in your abilities. If you appear to lack self-confidence, why should anyone listen to you? To get people’s attention and incite their interest in what you say or do, you have to project an image of inner strength and exude a confident attitude. How else can you have “mind control” over others, when you can’t even control your own sense of insecurity?
However, let me clarify one point: having confidence in your special skills and abilities doesn’t give you the right to be arrogant, conceited, or have a “holier-than-thou” attitude. This kind of a mindset or behavior has no place in mentalism! There are three steps I teach on becoming more confident as a Mentalist… But you'll have to wait for my confidence lesson to learn them! 🙂
[icon image=”secure” align=”left”] 5. Assertiveness
As you are reading this paragraph, you will probably wonder what the difference is between assertiveness and the topic we discussed in the previous one, confidence.
Actually, assertiveness and confidence are very closely related. They go hand-in-hand. Simply put, in order to be assertive – to effectively express your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs – you must be confident first. In other words, self-confidence, as it is described in the previous chapter, will allow you to become assertive.
Now, many people might misunderstand the meaning of the word “assertive,” thinking it is synonymous with “aggressive.”
Not so! Just as self-confidence should not be mistaken for arrogance, assertiveness is not a ticket for an aggressive or hostile attitude either. Why is assertiveness an important tool for a mentalist? Because it is an essential skill when we are trying to build relationships and communicate with people around us – eventually leading them to do what we want them to do!
You simply can't influence others without being assertive. It's an hypnotic ability that you'll have to master.
[icon image=”user” align=”left”] 6. What's your attitude?
“The Right Attitude:” the kind of behavior that, to cite the title of an old book by Dale Carnegie, makes friends and influences people.
Obviously, you won’t make friends and influence people with a rotten attitude. You will, in all likelihood, make enemies or, in the very least, people who don’t like you. That, needless to say, is not an image a mentalist should project. Do I even have to say that?
The qualities I mentioned in the previous steps: smiling, listening, etc., are some of the positive behaviors that contribute the right attitude. But, there are more. For instance:
Be amused. What exactly do I mean by that? It's similar to the power of the smile as I described in the first step. Well, showing amusement is part of the same dynamic.
Let’s say you use the tool discussed in step 2 – listen – whenever you are with another person or a group of people, and they are telling you a fun story. You should not sit there poker-faced – be amused, smile, laugh, show your enjoyment and appreciation. How you respond in a situation like this may determine whether people are drawn to your personality or find it flat and unattractive.
Why is this important? People are not drawn to mentalists who appear to be overly serious, humorless, and glum. In fact, such a person may remind them of the so-called “dark” side of mentalism (hypnosis, etc.) they may have read about or seen in the movies. That is not the true nature of mentalism – it should be fun and entertaining, not scary.
People are social beings so it is in our power to develop personality traits – all the ones mentioned in my program – that others find appealing. It’s not necessarily about what you are now, but about what you can become!
[icon image=”heart” align=”left”] 7. How positive are you?
There is a reason why I left this particular “tool” as the last one: that’s because “positivity” is a compilation of all the other qualities that were mentioned throughout this article. Smiling, listening, being confident, assertive, and having a good attitude, are important elements on their own, but when they are combined together, the result is a positive mindset – a truly powerful tool for a mentalist.
In fact, as far as I see it, a positive attitude is not an option, but a necessity for a mentalist. As already mentioned before, a mentalist who exudes negativity and pessimism is not going to be successful in drawing people to him. Remember: a mentalist should be entertaining and amusing, which is difficult when you spread gloom and doom, rather than cheer!
True, staying upbeat is not always easy- and it certainly doesn’t come naturally to many people – because life is often full of hardships. Nobody can deny that. But keeping your head up and the spring in your step even when life throws curveballs at you can make all the difference!
Ask yourself: “Am I a source of a positive energy that lifts the spirits of those around me?” If you are, then I congratulate you, because you have mastered one of the most important skills in a mentalist’s tool kit!
In the introductory paragraph, I told you that the Seven Steps to Mentalism I would be outlining in this article would be simple and easy to accomplish. I also told you that these skills and qualities “lie within each of us. Sometimes they are ‘out there’ for everyone to see, and at other times they are buried deep within us and need to be dug out. But – they are all part of our human disposition.”
Now that you finished reading this, you know that I meant every word of that promise! Each of the “tools” described here is easy to put into practice. Even if they are not part of your personality, you can certainly work at developing them! You have the entire year ahead of you! It won’t cost you any money but will reap wonderful benefits!
In the meantime, I would love to hear YOUR New Year's resolutions – please share your thoughts and comments right here bellow and join the conversation!